Why Is My Toddler Having So Many Meltdowns?

"Meltdowns" or emotional outbursts are a common and often challenging part of childhood and of raising tiny humans. I like to explain our kiddos big feelings in a neurobiological context to help shed light on why exactly our little ones may be experiencing these outbursts. Sometimes when we change our perspectives, specifically around our children’s behavioural concerns, it helps us understand and empathize with them a bit better. So, let’s take a look at five reasons why your little one may be having more outbursts than you can wrap your head around.

Limited Emotional Regulation:

Children are still in the process of learning to regulate their emotions. The prefrontal cortex, responsible for impulse control and emotional regulation, undergoes significant development during childhood. This immaturity can impact a child's ability to effectively manage their big feelings, leading to meltdown after meltdown after meltdown. A positive? It’s not you, parents. It’s a neurobiological process all little beings go through. You’re amazing. The brain is just a bit too complex for us to handle sometimes.

Sensory Overload:

Children's sensory systems are still developing, and they can easily become overwhelmed by sensory stimuli like bright lights, loud sounds, or crowded spaces. Recognizing and managing these sensory triggers can play a HUGE role in minimizing meltdowns. I know from being a highly sensitive adult - once I limit those triggers, I can better manage my own emotions. It’s the same for our kiddos. Pay attention to when your child is having their outbursts… what does their environment look like, sound like and feel like?

Limbic System Sensitivity:

The limbic system, which is crucial for processing emotions, is highly active in early childhood. This heightened sensitivity can result in intense emotional responses, making our littles more prone to meltdowns, especially in challenging, scary or overwhelming situations.

Developmental Milestones:

As children reach new developmental stages, they encounter challenges that can trigger meltdowns. Frustrations with learning new skills or gaining independence are common factors contributing to emotional outbursts during these phases. I notice this the most with my toddler, when she’s struggling to “master” a specific stage in her development, the number of outbursts she has definitely increases.

Hormonal Influences:

This is one that most parents might not be aware of, but as a mama, it makes perfect sense. When am I most moody or irritable? During hormonal fluctuations! Changes in hormone levels in our littles, like cortisol and adrenaline, play a big role in stress responses. Children's developing hormonal systems can contribute to the intensity of meltdowns, especially in situations that are stressful, unpredictable, and scary.

Understanding a little more about how our children’s brains work helps shed some light on why meltdowns are just a part of growing up. It also highlights how important it is to create environments that support healthy brain development for our kids. When we understand these things, parents and caregivers can more effectively handle and back up their child's emotional well-being when things get overwhelming.

Oh, and don’t forget parents… You’re doing amazing.

Thank you for reading.