Shifting Our Parenting Perspectives

When a child is born, one of their earliest and most fundamental needs is attachment. This innate drive to connect and belong is, in my belief, one of the most important and powerful aspects for their development. It forms the foundation for their desire for secure attachments and loving relationships and shapes their perspective on love - both for others and for themselves.

Often, when our littles display behaviors that are, as adults may perceive, a cry for 'attention,' it's really only a cry for 'connection.' It's their way of reaching out to their attachment figures, to their safe people, seeking validation and acceptance of their emotions, needs, and desires. This need for connection is deeply rooted in their biology and psychology - something that all of us, as humans who hold love and affection in our hearts, inherently yearn for.

As parents and caregivers, we sometimes misinterpret these cries for connection as "attention-seeking" behavior. This misinterpretation can lead us to suppress what we perceive as "undesirable" behaviors in our children, inadvertently repeating patterns we experienced in our own childhoods, where our feelings and needs were suppressed and forced away. This can manifest in comments such as, "Stop crying! You're fine! There's nothing wrong with you! There's nothing to be upset about!" These comments dismiss our child's feelings and create an environment where emotions and thoughts are not freely shared or expressed.

However, the key to nurturing healthy child development lies in accepting our children for who they are, embracing their full range of emotions, feelings, and needs. When we view their expressions as desires to connect rather than as mere attempts to gain attention, we can transform our entire parenting experience. We can see our children for who they are in that moment, allowing us to connect with them on a deeper level. We are able to meet them where they are, both emotionally and developmentally, and from that space, create safe and loving relationships.

By connecting with our children during their most challenging moments, we reinforce the idea that their needs and emotions are valid and worthy of acknowledgment. We reinforce the idea that they are worthy of our attention and of our love. This shift in perspective not only fosters confidence and security in our littles but also strengthens the two most important bonds of all - the parent, child relationship and the relationship one has with themselves. This is where self-love is nurtured and encouraged. This is where the magic of childhood development lies.

Accepting and embracing our children's authenticity, including their emotions, feelings, and needs, is one of the most precious gifts we can offer as parents and caregivers. Recognizing their cries for connection as vital expressions of their attachment needs can lead to a more confident, secure, and emotionally connected child.

So, let’s give our parenting perspectives a shift! One loving embrace at a time.