The ABCs of Feelings
Children are like little emotional sponges, soaking up feelings and learning how to deal with them as they go. As parents and caregivers, we've got a front-row seat to helping them figure it all out. One huge piece of it all? Emotional regulation - a skill that, when learned at an early age, really helps set the stage for a happy, healthy life.
Think of emotional regulation as the ABCs of feelings. It's about helping our littles recognize, understand, and deal with all their big (okay, HUGE) feelings. It involves developing skills to label and identify different emotions, understanding personal triggers for emotional responses, normalizing and validating all feelings, and using helpful strategies to cope and regulate emotions in a healthy way.
When we think of emotional regulation, a lot of the times we think about a few things: deep breathing, counting backwards, calm down corners…
No matter what the tools are that you use with your big feelers, the idea is that we load up that tool box with different and helpful tools to help make managing those feelings a whole lot easier.
When working in Emotional Behavioural Therapy and while working closely with Occupational Therapists, I loaded my toolbox with some useful tips that have changed my parenting experience completely.
Because the topic of emotional reg is so huge and probably one of the most important, for this blog post, I am going to focus on three strategies you may not be familiar with.
So, let’s get into it!
Tip #1: Deep Pressure
Deep pressure is my secret weapon for calming my little ones – it can be used anytime, anywhere, and with almost nothing needed. Deep pressure techniques help influence the autonomic nervous system (ANS), the part of the nervous system responsible for regulating our breathing and heart rate, among other things. With simple deep pressure tricks, our kids' anxious and overwhelmed bodies begin to find their calm again.
With my youngest, she hit a milestone where her outbursts were nearly impossible to manage. The one thing that would help was when I would give her body little squeezes. I'd apply gentle squeezes up and down her legs and arms, which would eventually turn into me giving her a big bear hug (if she'd allow me to). She loved being swaddled as a baby, which is us as parents using deep pressure without even knowing it.
What's amazing about the internet is that you can now find so many fun products like weighted stuffed animals, weighted lap pads or blankets, and other incredible products I’ve never even heard of before.
And what’s amazing about us caregivers? We give the best hugs. So the next time your kiddo is having trouble, wrap your arms around them tightly, and just know, with that alone, you’re helping regulate their nervous systems without over complicating a thing.
Tip #2: Environmental Changes
Something that really heightens my anxiety? Mess. Clutter. Things out of place… Our environments have a huge effect on how we feel, especially as children. Reducing clutter, maintaining an organized space, and creating an environment in and around your home where your little one can go to to relax and feel safe and comfortable are crucial for their development. Whether it be a calm down corner filled with the best sensory tools out there or just a quiet clean space with a book, dedicate that spot specifically to help your child find their calm.
When we talk about the environment, my favorite part is the luxury of picking up our overwhelmed kiddo and heading out the door. Being in nature is one of the best cognitive and emotional boosters out there. As important as the space inside our homes is, it’s just as crucial to immerse our little ones in nature too. Going outside and practicing tuning into their senses is so helpful and fun. What can you hear? What can you see? What can you smell? Touch the tree back, what can you feel?
Tip #3: Visual Supports
While working in the field, I used visual supports to help students enhance their emotional awareness and assist my big feelers in communicating their needs for a break and for help in regulating. Visuals help children learn to regulate their emotions in a safe way, providing appropriate choices, identification of feelings, and age-appropriate tools to help process their big feelings.
I’ve attached a link to one of my favourite ready to print and use visual support boards! (Visuals not made by me. But definitely used by me).
Understanding and supporting our kiddos emotions is a crucial part of raising them. Whether it's a tight hug, a tidy space, or visual aids, these approaches offer practical ways to help your child manage their big emotions in a safe and healthy way. By incorporating these strategies, you're building a toolkit that fosters emotional well-being and guides your child through the ups and downs of all their feelings.
Thank you for reading.
Source: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5612681/
Visual Support Link: https://learn71.ca/inclusion-resources/visual-supports-3/self-regulation-3/